Today was one of those days.
I smashed my thumb in a cabinet drawer at work and it's still throbbing. I've developed a horrible twitch in my right eye. Even after sleeping a full eight hours last night, I'm exhausted. I need to put air in my tires, but it's too cold. In a few hours, I'm going to have a serious confrontation with the head of another department at work. I know I'm right and she's wrong, and I'm going to stick to my guns. At least I'm hoping not to cry in front of her.
Because of all this, I refused to let myself feel guilty about eating chocolate cake for breakfast. It was delicious.
I'm on something like cycle day four or five. I don't know. Does it matter? I know I'm in a bad place. Even after going to bed at 9 p.m. last night, I mentioned to Bobby that I'm still exhausted this morning. His first question, "Are you depressed?"
In many ways, yes. Yes I am feeling depressed. I'm seriously suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), as is most of the state of Minnesota. It's supposed to be 30 degrees later this week, and let me tell you I will be wearing a mini skirt and flip flops. Heck, I'm going swimming. If I ever see the sun again, I will be laying out and getting a tan.
Is the weather really making me sad, or is it that I failed again on what seemed like a perfect cycle? Is work what's really bothering me, or is it only stressing me out because I'm so distracted by infertility? A friend announced on Sunday that she's pregnant with her second child. It really only confirmed what I already suspected. My pregnancy radar is pretty good. Is her good fortune contributing to my bad mood?
Maybe the start of spring will be enough to pull me out of this gross, lazy depression I've sunk into. Maybe I'll start feeling like a person again instead of feeling how Micky Rourke looks.
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| Remember when this guy was a real person? |
I don't think there is anything wrong with cake for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Maybe even all three! We only live once :)
ReplyDeleteOh and for the record, I think Micky Rourke looked better as Marv on Sin City then he does today :)
DeleteI agree totally about this weather mess. I am in southeast Texas and tired of this cold which usually doesn't happen this long here. ugh!! Yay for chocolate cake :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you said 30 degrees first I thought you meant Celsius, and I was going to book a trip to Minnesota ASAP. Stupid Canadian me.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I WISH it was going to be 30 degrees Celsius! (which my google converter is telling me is quite warm). No, I only know Fahrenheit. I'm definitely an ignorant American like that.
DeleteUggg...cycle day 4/5 + yucky weather = crummy mood. The chocolate cake for breakfast sounds like a wise choice. Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you deserved to have your cake for breakfast. I'm sorry your weather has been so bad. I guess I should appreciate it more that I live in California. Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteI eat cake for breakfast if it's in the house. And then for lunch and dinner too! I definitely have a sweet tooth. We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, but hopefully with spring volleyball it will help make you feel more normal again. It's always nice to have the girls for a distraction!
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