Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Tiny Mittens

Yesterday afternoon, I sat in the rocking chair in our nursery brimming with new things for our baby, writing thank you notes to all of the wonderful people who came to my shower. I'd pause, look around me, and wonder who's life I was living. Certainly not my own. Someone else must own these cloud-soft blankets and tiny mittens that barely cover my thumb. When Bobby pulled them out of the gift bag and held them up for the first time, he nearly fainted. "You've got to be kidding me! These are not for real people!" I told him they were to keep baby from scratching its face. "I know that, but no one's hands are this tiny. This is ridiculous."

Of course Bobby and all his brothers were over 10 pounds (one was nearly 12!) at birth, so it's true that his hands were probably never that small. Dr. G. thinks I'll have closer to a 6.5 or maybe a small 7-pound baby - which sounds much better to me (and my vagina) than pushing out a 10-pound toddler. But still, as I fold these newborn onesies and socks and hats, I can't help gawking at just how tiny everything is. Which is scary, because to me, tiny = breakable.

My 34-week appointment today was uneventful. We talked a bit about what I should be looking out for, and Dr. G said for the next week if I have any contractions, leak fluid, or have decreased fetal movement I need to go to labor and delivery. After next week, I wait until my contractions are 3-5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute for an hour. I should call labor and delivery when they start to give them a heads up, but after 35 weeks they don't try to stop labor. Um...yikes. I could have a baby next week. While I'm super uncomfortable and feeling like baby is totally running out of room, I'm not ready yet. Thankfully I haven't had any sort of contractions other than Braxton Hicks, and as far as I can tell, baby is still pretty content. It's head down, but not super low. My last day of work is April 3, and I was kind of counting on having a few weeks at home after that before baby comes - so let's hope it stays put for at least another 3 weeks! I did feel my first instances of "lightening crotch" last night, which I'm guessing means baby is head-butting my cervix. I'm not impressed by this new trick.

Baby kept kicking Dr. G's doppler around today, so he remarked, "Well, I'm not worried about fetal distress or decreased movement, but your kid may have a bit of an attitude problem." When I texted Bobby after my appointment to tell him this, his only response was: Boy. Of course, I texted back, Or an active, athletic girl...

We really have no idea, and Bobby had a panicked moment about it when we were in the car on Saturday. He kind of freaked out saying, "What were we thinking not finding out!? We literally have no idea if what's inside of you is a boy or a girl!"

I tried to ask why it mattered at this point...what would we really be doing differently? He didn't know, but it made him really nervous all of a sudden. Maybe because we haven't come to any sort of decision on a name. Or because he panicked that we'd have to pay for a wedding if its a girl (I promised we'd have a few years to save). Or because there's so many other uncertainties (labor, delivery, hospital stay, visitors, etc.) that he's feeling powerless - and knowing if we're coming home with a boy or a girl would help him regain some sense of control over the process. He's since calmed down, but it's sort of adorable when he gets worked up about this kid. I know it's just because he loves it so much and wants to do everything right.

Which starts with more tiny laundry tonight and putting away more itty bitty mittens.

14 comments:

  1. It's really almost that time for him/her to be here! Obviously exciting and probably scary at the same time. I have no doubt you will handle it all just right :)

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    1. Thanks, Amie! It's equal parts scary and exciting right now for sure.

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  2. This is such a cute post! I love how nervous your husband was because it also shows how excited he is! You are going to be a great mom!

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  3. It's definitely starting to feel more real to me now too. And I had those exact same thoughts this past weekend about the tiny mittens :-) I will say I had a bit of a freakout for a second when reading what your doc said about this week vs. not stopping labor if it starts next week. (Okay more than a second.) Yikes!! I don't feel ready either, even after all this time and everything we went through to get here, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited too... Argh! All the emotions!

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    1. I think other doctors/hospitals might be different, but I was definitely not prepared to hear that I could have a baby next week! I guess I thought they'd hold off until at least 37 weeks. I'm right there with you - excited, nervous, anxious, unprepared, ready to be done...

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  4. Bah, you're so close! Baby clothes are still a bit abstract to me, in that I see them and just think they're cute and tiny, but yes when you think about the fact that a tiny person will be in them it's a bit scary. Have you seen preemie onesies!?! Sooo small! Those freak me out.

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    1. Oh my gosh I picked up a preemie sleeper off the rack on Saturday and it freaked me out! No one should be that tiny! I would be so afraid of crushing a baby that small.

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  5. Yay for tiny mittens! Can't wait to hear if it's a boy or a girl!

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  6. I would never have been able to make it not knowing the sex. It's so crazy to think we're going to be moms in such a short time!!

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    1. People keep telling us that, and while I've had a few moments where I kind of wish I knew, I'm really excited for the delivery room reveal. You're even closer than I am...I think when you have your baby I'm going to officially freak out because I know I'm only a couple weeks behind.

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  7. That sounds just like my daughter! She'd kick the Doppler so hard that it couldn't register a heartbeat pattern. She'd also "run" away from the sensor head when she still had room. And yes, she's an active, athletic kid! She goes to a gymnastics preschool and still comes home and jumps on her trampoline.

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  8. My hubby still gets emotional sometimes when I'm folding all the baby clothes. We are constantly in awe of the fact that we are parents. He still has minor freak out moments about things every once in awhile. I think you and Bobby will be amazing and very fun parents together!

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