Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Mermaid

When I was about 15, I remember being at one of my best friend's house. We were lying on her living room floor, paging through Seventeen magazines and gossiping about cute boys. I can't remember the circumstances exactly, but I think it was near spring break because my family was going on a big vacation in a few weeks--and I lamented to my friend that I was really hoping my period would show up on time or even early, because if it was late, I'd have it during the trip.

My friend's mom overhead me say this, as she was in the kitchen nearby. She poked her head in the room, and I've never forgotten what she said: "If your period is on it's way, having sex will make it show up!"

Now, I have no idea if this is true (or why she even told me that--I was 15! Plus, there were exactly ZERO boys I knew interested in having sex with me at the time), but I've always remembered this.

On a semi-related note, last night I decided to dye my hair a deep auburn. I'm a natural blonde--well, I used to be. Over the summer, my hair lightens quite a bit, but in September, I begin getting serious roots as my hair darkens. And every year, it seems to be getting even darker. I've been walking around with "almost-ombre" hair for several months now, and I decided to change it. I used to keep my hair reddish in high school, and that's when my husband fell in love with me, so he likes when I keep it red now too.

Well...the dye went a little rough. Since this blog is anonymous and I don't post photos of myself, I'll just give you this link. This is a fairly accurate depiction of my current hair color. I'm not sure if Bobby actually likes it, or is just a really, really nice guy, but he was into it. In fact, he came into the bedroom where I was working last night ran his fingers through the front of my hair and said, "I want to have sex with my new wife."

Since I figured my period was on its way anyway, it couldn't hurt. I might as well get this thing started (sexy, right? Infertile sex is so hot).

**This next part is going to be kind of gross. Read at your own risk.**

Bobby and I are not a fall-asleep-cuddling-after-sex kind of couple. We're a clean-up-and-shower couple. I know it's not nearly as movie-esque to grab the sex towel and and run to the bathroom shortly after, but I'm sorry, I do not want to sleep in a pile of jizz. Plus I get UTIs and bladder infections really easily. My hoo-ha needs to be cleaned out.

Well, the jizz was definitely brownish pink last night. It appeared my friend's mom was totally right about sex getting my period started.

Except it didn't actually work. At least not over night. I was still leaking jizz this morning (as I always do after sex), and it was still brownish. I assumed I'd start bleeding in a few hours. I have not.

I still don't have my period yet. I was so sure it was coming, I even put today as Cycle Day 1 on the app when I took my temperature this morning. But so far, nothing.

I guess I'll be dyeing my hair again so Bobby will want to have sex with his new, new wife tonight.

Does anyone have a theory about this? Does having sex actually make your period show up, or is this just an old wives' tale? Any other ways to make a period on it's way show up?

4 comments:

  1. I don't really think there is any fact to having sex and it will show up. Just like putting on white panties or putting white satin sheets on the bed. She shows up when she is ready :) Although I was laughing at your after sex routine because we are the same way!

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  2. Ab. Exercises work for me. Weird, I know.
    -Char (your newest follower)
    http://www.lifesbettertogether.com/

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  3. First, I cannot believe a mom would say that to a 15 year old! Seriously wrong! Second, I'm with you and T, clean up after sex. I also continue to leak afterwards. I'm kind of glad to hear that someone else has that issue too.

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    1. I actually had no idea if this was "normal." Even if I do keep my feet over my head and prop up my hips for 20-30 minutes, it still all comes pouring out as soon as I'm upright. Good to know I'm not alone!

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