Thursday, December 19, 2013

A Little of This, A Little of That

I think it's CD 21, so technically I'm probably in two week wait territory. However, every time I start thinking that way and ease up on our mandatory timed intercourse, my period is a week late, and all signs point to a late ovulation. So the plan is to stick to sex every other day until my period hits. Not only does that mean more sex for everyone, it also eliminates some of the "waiting" part of the two week wait.

Of course, that meant I kind of forced poor Bobby to have sex with me on Tuesday night when he got home from an away basketball game. He was drained after an emotional game--they won on a buzzer-beater!--but he also had to endure an hour and a half bus ride home with 30 high schoolers. And then as soon as he walked in the door he was jumped by his wife who was demanding sexual favors. He's mentioned in the past that he feels like he can't say no...not just because of his baby making desires, but because he imagines 16-year-old Bobby confronting him. If 16-year-old Bobby saw me turn down a smokin hot naked chick throwing herself at me, he'd punch me in the face. I appreciate his sentiments, and his ability to "power through" some of the less desirable timed intercourse sessions.

In non-(in)fertility news, I may need to quit playing volleyball. In the summers, I play in both a women's and co-ed sand league. It's a lot of fun, relaxed, and a good way to get outside and be active. In the fall/winter, I play in an extremely competitive indoor women's league. It's fun, but it's also exhausting. We don't practice as much as we should, but since everyone on my team (and almost all the other teams) were at least D3 college athletes, we're extremely competitive. Our season isn't going well--we lost one of our best players to a broken foot early in the year, and three of the other women are pregnant. We hate that we're losing so much, but we don't have the time in our schedules to really practice as much as we need to. I think this season has been more frustrating than fun, and it's wearing on me. I don't want to give it up (it's hard to get on a new team), but I might have to admit that I'm not as good (and definitely not as fast) as I once was.

I'm actually still healing from a pretty bad bone bruise I got on my knee three weeks ago, and last week I definitely damaged my other knee. They were both dumb plays, and I dove too late. It was a lazy lack-of-hustle play on my part, but I do feel like I'm picking up way more of the court than usual, since my pregnant teammates are trying to avoid diving. Last night our setter was gone, so I actually got to set, which was awesome. I've played setter from fourth grade all the way through college (I'm five feet tall, what else am I gonna play?), but our setter on this team is very, very good. She likes to play a 5-1, so we do. This year, I've transitioned to an outside hitter. I do enjoy playing back row now, but my hitting isn't great, and I'm not super comfortable with all the blocking rotations. I feel like I'm wandering around a lot, unsure of where I'm supposed to be covering (which is funny, because when I'm coaching I feel like I know where everyone should be at all times. Guess it's just a different perspective being on the sideline than being in the middle of the court). It was really fun to be back setting and feeling like I was commanding the court and totally comfortable in my role. I need nights like that more often.

There's a blog post coming that I really need to write. I just can't do it yet, because it'll make it real. My best friend since I was 10 years old is 33 weeks pregnant. We've always been in the exact same stage of life together, even dealing with a year of infertility. But she overcame it and I didn't. In just a few weeks, she'll have a baby and I won't. Our relationship is going to change, and there's nothing I can do about it. I know I need to explore these feelings, but for now I'm ignoring them.

We're having Christmas at my parents' house with my sister this weekend. At least there won't be any baby talk there! My sister is three years older than me (29) and separated from her husband. She's a retail manager of a home improvement store and lives in a trailer park with several cats. So even though I'm not giving my parents any grandchildren, I'm still the most successful sibling!


  1. You make me laugh - most successful sibling! Competitive much? Lol. I know it's hard to have someone you are close to have a baby. My sister had four babies before we even came close to having one. She's five years younger than me! However, I will tell you that if you are able, it is absolutely amazing to embrace this new baby. My nieces and nephews are the most amazing people in my life, that is, until recently when we DID finally have our twins. I also have friends with babies. It's just a wonderful thing to be able to play such a big role in their lives. It definitely wasn't easy, but I do hope you are able to find that sense of peace.

  2. Our poor boys, huh? Fertility sex is rough for both partners (and I'm not talking freaky, just difficult). I know it's hard for my husband to be in the mood when he feels like it is all about baby-making. I'm the same way. I always tell him, "Imagine your college self confronted with the dilemma of frequent sex!! He would punch you for turning me down!" Once I say that, it's pretty much over. I'm glad Bobby is trying to stay in touch with 16-year-old Bobby on his own, because it sounds much better coming from him than you! KinderCoaster