Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Bed

This is about to be an awkward sex post. Read at your own risk.

As I've mentioned, my in-laws are coming today. It's CD14, and right around ovulation time. This is our last cycle before I go to my doctor in January, and I'd love for scheduling an appointment to be the ironic event that triggered our pregnancy. My in-laws will be here for three days, so we're hoping to only need to have sex once in that time--on Friday night.

So...here's the set up. Our bedroom and the guest room are at the back of the house, separated by the bathroom (no shared walls). How inappropriate is it for us to do this with them in the next room (younger brothers will be downstairs in the safely insulated and sound-proofed basement)? Our bed is loud--like extreme porn-scene loud. It's on casters, and our floor is hardwood--what happens next is science even I can understand. Plus the amount of squeaking our bed frame does when one of us shifts our foot in the middle of the night is ridiculous. Obviously some WD-40 would cure this, but let's be honest, we live alone. The only people the bed squeaking annoys is us. And we're lazy about fixing things like that. I'm not actually sure how much noise our bed makes during sex...as I'm paying attention to other things--but I'm assuming it's a lot. Especially as last night when we were trying to fall asleep and Bobby was restlessly rolling over. It sounded like a freaking symphony of mice until I yelled at him to "STOP. MOVING!"

We're thinking something like blanket-on-the-floor, or leaning-against-the-wall, or maybe even a throw back of sneaking to the backseat-of-the-car.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever written. Oh, the dilemmas of the infertile. Any advice for emergency ovulation sex when the in-law are around? Or any other funny stories of places you managed to make it work?

Or am I the only crazy one, and most people would just skip this month...?

2 comments:

  1. Lol, now that it's Saturday, I don't know that advice is needed. If it were us, we'd probably just set up camp on the floor. Some of the best sex we've ever had was when we had to be super quiet, particularly when at Hubby's parents house.

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  2. My parents were visiting for a week and I managed to get the to go to my aunt's house on the night I was due to ovulate, so naturally the evil Siamese cats decided to O the night before. We tried on the floor, in my closet, but it was a no-go. Rocket on the lauch pad, but wouldn't blast off. The next day, I came home during my lunch break, which to date, was probably the most fun we had to date -even if it was to no avail.

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